Tales from the Cryptid #1

Pranksters USA Secret Societies

There are however, a great deal of credible and otherwise normal profiles represented in these numerous reports.
Many of these eye witness accounts would appear to be legitimate reports, but have potentially come about as the result of a prank.

Applying this logic to the reported hominid phenomena of the North American continent, it is easy to write off such accounts as new world folklore. However, in the USA there also exists a concentrated demographic of eye witnesses. Most of whom would appear not to have any history of mental illness. Logically, this must either be some form of wide spread ergot poisoning happening on an ongoing basis, or a truly phenomenal amount of practical jokes. Therefore it seems that the world can no longer ignore this situation. If these people are hallucinating on a regular basis then they need to be identified and possibly have their driving licenses revoked. Once the poisoning has been dealt with or the pranksters decide to take a sabbatical, further tests would determine whether these people are considered well enough to drive and / or operate machinery etc.

In the event of these elite pranksters taking some time out, a UN peacekeeping force should track them down and hold them to account.
This may be more difficult than anticipated. Most reports contain references to great height, developed musculature, ability to rip trees out of the ground and so on. Additionally, descriptions of the suits worn by these freakishly tall athletes have many features associated with professional prosthetic costumes.
Also the time spent by these elite pranksters waiting for a passing hiker or dog-walker, indicates that they clearly have extensive resources. Realistically, this appears to have been going on for at least a couple of centuries. Whoever these elite pranksters are, they clearly have access to finances and state of the art theatrical facilities. This represents a completely unprecedented advantage in terms of deception and perception management. To date, there does not appear to have been any whistle blowers emerging from this high jinks fraternity of oversized Larrikins. The only feasible way to maintain total secrecy among these freakishly tall athlete pranksters, would be if they were all members of some kind of shadowy secret society.

Unsurprisingly, the narrative enforcement witnessed on this subject is quite obviously intended as a smoke screen. The reality of an inter-generational and clandestine society of freakishly tall, athletic, super rich pranksters is far too sensitive for the public to accept. What would be stopping the average man in the street from quitting his job and running around the local park in a fancy dress monkey suit? Such widespread civil disobedience could literally spell the end of western civilisation. Due to the media supremacy of U.S networks, the entire world would be exposed to this catastrophic wave of proletariat practical jokes.

How long can the hard working men and women of American narrative enforcement keep this smoke screen going? With every passing day, these pranksters convince another several hundred people that they are in fact some form of Youngar Dryas surving hominin from a previous paradigm. If they ever decided to work against international interests, it could seriously impact the global power dynamic in a profoundly negative way.          

Direct intervention is clearly required. Organisations with such capabilities operating outside the law can not be allowed to ever pose a credible threat to neighbouring commonwealth territories. In the event of the U.S continuing to aid, abet and harbour these deceptive masterminds, they must be compelled with the full weight of international cooperation.

 

*Addendum

Despite the author considering this phenomenon to be no more than one of the world's greatest pranks by ludicrously wealthy secret societies, there are people who believe otherwise. The following excerpt represents some rather compelling evidence which supports a somewhat more challenging narrative. Known as 'The Miller file', this document has been in circulation online for over a decade. Much of the corroborating information is easily verified and the document is broadly considered to be legitimate.

 

Dear Linda,

I am not clear as to the best way to handle a manuscript written by my grandmother’s half – brother. He died in 2005. He had no children or relatives who live, except my grandmother. Apparently, he sent a box and left it in the box … Without my knowledge or my mother …. – It was in the attic of my grandmother since 2005. Amazing age of 92, my grandmother recently passed away and my mother and I were going through his things, found this manuscript. I do not know if it’s authentic, but I wanted to share with anyone who might know what to do with it. English is a second language. So I look to you, Linda, to be the nicest person on the internet now, when it comes to bigfoot, then I’ll send it to you. Written original manuscript is by hand and it has been neglected. So a friend transcribed it to write to you. I do not know what to do with the original, so we have sealed it by Ahora

You have full permission to read the manuscript below titled “The Following was written by Dr. H. A. Miller” on your you tube blog

Sincerely,

Sophia

The Following was written by Dr. H.A. Miller
(Now deceased)

Born in New England, December 12th, 1909… I was the first and only child of Christiana and Arthur Miller. My mother died in child birth and I was subsequently raised by my father until re-married to a French woman when I was 12 or 13 years of age. Soon after their marriage she bore a baby girl. I finished my high school education while living with my father, step-mother, and half-sister.

[There is an entire section here that I could not transcribe- Handwriting was illegible]

I remained in New England for my undergraduate work. I thoroughly enjoyed the outdoors, the ocean and forestry. My under-graduate studies focused on forestry and land management. While in my junior and senior year, I was employed by the Federal Government.

I worked at Lockwood Farm (part of The Connecticut Agricultural Experiment Station). I learned about hybridization in agricultural and enjoyed the hard outdoor work in the corn fields. I began to find great interest in the scientific workings happening with corn seed at the time.

I completed an additional year in Forestry science and graduated in 1930 with an A.B. from Yale University and an M.F. in 1931 (M.F. is a Master of Science in Forestry).

I labored at Lockwood Farm for a few years and gained great interest in science and medicine; by this time and I did hope to attend Medical School and become a physician. I expeditiously applied for Medical School and was accepted to Harvard and began my medical training in 1938.

Graduating from Harvard medical school (Harvard) in the early 1940s and I completed residency and fellowship at Harvard and began a very specialized career at the time in Orthopedic Forensic Surgery Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH) in Boston.
Because of my previous work with the USDA, I was quickly employed by the federal government. My early years as a physician related mostly to providing medical support to various employee types (fire fighters, etc.) within the USDA/FS.

I also became the forensic expert and anatomist for the USDA and was called to examine most major accidental deaths of USDA/FS servicemen. Due to my interest in genetics and early experiences in agricultural hybridization, I was assigned to scientific teams, which investigated the physical nature of genetics.

Our early experiments determined that DNA is the component of the chromosomes where genetics should be studied; this, along with the efforts of several other scientists, lead to the discovery of the double helix structure in early 1950s.

It was at this same time that several of our team members were called to Bandera County, TX where the forestry scientists/biologists assigned to Edwards Plateau reported the dead bodies of a strange type of human. The first reports I received were speculating that they were feral humans from the local Comanche Indian tribes. The bodies were supposedly found in or around one of the massive caves within the Edwards Plateau area.

When I arrived in Texas, I was surprised to find 3 bodies; one adult female and two female juveniles. I examined them as I typically would any human subject. But to my dismay–one of these creatures still seemed to be alive. I became quite upset with the local scientists–but they reassured me that they confirmed all 3 were deceased.

After further investigation, I found that these creatures were not human. They, in fact, had a remarkable rapid reparative process (hence the reason one of the creatures seemed dead–but in fact was regenerating to a degree). Unfortunately the restorative abilities of the creature were not enough to keep it alive. They were massive in size and distinctly a new primate species unknown to science at the time.
I spent years studying these creatures (which are scientifically known as Cebidatelidae), confirming that they were most certainly not human; they were definitely of Primate origin, but with traits seen in various species of primate – most of which were New World monkey.
Cebidatelidae found in the San Antonio Texas area very much “howl” like a howler monkey (quite frightening to hear at night). At one point early in my analysis, I found a great deal of similarity between these bigfoot creatures and the Howler Monkey- that was until 1962…..

In late 1962 early ’63 I was notified of a large human like creature by the Redding forest service folks in California. I arranged for transport of the body to my primary location in Colorado. It was reported to me that the body was found under a large tree that had been violently struck by lightning and blown to the ground, apparently killing this large creature.

During my investigation- I found the animal to be very similar to those I had studied in the Bandera County area of Texas, with some marked differences. This northern version of Cebidatelidae seemed to have the same new world monkey attributes I notated in the Texas animals (known today as Cebidatelidae texicanus or C. texicanus).

However, there were unique traits found in this Pacific Northwest animal (known today as Cebidatelidae nerteros pacificus or C. nerteros pacificus) including thumbs that are not entirely opposable, as we see in modern humans. C. nerteros pacificus entire hand was truly designed for grip, including proximal pads; making the hand somewhat hooked like, having flattened nails resulting in my theory that these northern creatures developed an evolutionary arboreal nature while the Texas sub-family developed a trogloxene nature.
This Pacific Northwest (PNW) creature found in 1962-63 also had scent glands on her forearms. This is more evidence that C. nerteros pacificus is arboreal to some extent, leaving sent marks up and down the tree while climbing. Not only was this creature smashed by the large tree, but she was also badly burned with areas of lightning prints on exposed skin. I notated in my Medical Examination report of the body that it seemed as though lightning struck the animal passing through the body and into the tree; subsequently weakening the tree and causing it to fall to the ground.
It did seem as though the animal had fallen to the ground first, with the tree falling on top of her afterward- but the evidence as to whether the animal fell first or with the tree is inconclusive. However, it is clear lightning struck the tree at a decent height of over 20 feet; therefore this animal must have been clinging to the tree at the time of the lightning strike…. more evidence of the arboreal nature of C. nerteros pacificus.

C. nerteros pacificus also has additional medial padding on the feet, which it would use to climb trees by clinging to the tree with its hands and support its weight.

Both the C. nerteros pacificus and C. texicanus have oversized lower jaws, including massive sternocleidomastoid musculature. This must have been due to their rugged diet and, moreover, their need to crush bones. Their lower dentum at first looked as a second row of molars. But after years of research and examining the dead bodies of these animals, I have found that the lower molars are simply oversized or fused resulting in massive, bone crushing tools.

Due to their jaw size and bone crushing dentum, it is also clear that all sub-family of this creature are omnivorous, predacious and opportunistic. We did find that the female killed during the Columbus Day storm was pregnant with monozygotic embryos. All female Cebidatelidae bodies I have investigated throughout my career that have been pregnant have monozygotic embryos; this again, incorporating additional evidence of a new world monkey relationship.

Due to my investigations of the 1950s bodies in Texas and the 1960s PNW Columbus day storm body- I submitted to the Department of Agriculture that this is a new Platyrrhini species and that a new family under the parvorder should be created. Fellow scientists of mine disagreed given the fact that the creatures we examined in both cases were obviously bipedal and catarrhini in terms of their nostrils facing downward (old world monkeys).

However, the juveniles we have examined are much more platyrrhini in terms of nostril breadth and position. I won the debate in the end due to the fact that no evidence thus far demonstrates that these creatures crossed over from the old world- but are simply new world monkeys adapting to their various staged areas within North and South America*.
I have since retired and I know of some new University of Utah based scientists and Idaho who understand the genetics a bit better. Their findings are only supporting my original theorems, or at least I am told. These molecular biologists will soon understand the similarities with humans- once the human genome project is completed. As a result, I still refer to the Sasquatch species as Cebidatelidae with the following subfamilies:

Cebidatelidae arktos

Cebidatelidae nerteros pacificus

Cebidatelidae somphos

Cebidatelidae americanus

Cebidatelidae texicanus

Cebidatelidae amazonia

*Any of these species found outside the New World must have originated from and migrated out of the new world.

All of my experience with this primate has been post-mortem, save a few unique experiences in the wild. To my knowledge a live specimen has never been captured except for once in Northern Research station in California. However, the animal did not survive in captivity and died after only several days.

I, of course, examined the body. There were many rumors that this captured “Sasquatch” was somehow magical and could shape shift and that is why it couldn’t be found. The truth is… the folks at Northern Research station were very devastated and embarrassed that this live specimen died so quickly after being in captivity. So no, they are not magical. They are highly intelligent primates. Having one die in captivity is a very difficult to witness due to the human nature and feeling about the species. In reality, captivity will never be realistic for Cebidatelidae because of their size and complex brains. Similar to captive white sharks, the species cannot thrive in captivity and quickly die as a protective mechanism.

I have spent a great deal of my career as an expert for the federal government concerning Cebidatelidae and throughout the world, including the bodies recovered in the 80s due to Mount Saint Helen eruption. We made many recommendations to protect the species, but the DOI has constant concern regarding the impact of such a decision due to the vast number of areas this species inhabits. Such a decision would have potential negative impacts on the natural resource industry. The USFS is now working more toward creating protective wildlife refuges for Cebidatelidae.

[There is an entire section here that I could not transcribe- Handwriting was illegible]
…others on the team focused on molecular genetics….

[There is an entire section here that I could not transcribe- Handwriting was illegible]

…. the USFS and the DOI is recognizing now that the natural resource industry is not the economic center as it once was. So a final decision has been made to finalize the class 1 identification of the species. There is a 20 year plan to incorporate all wildlife protection areas throughout many areas of the United States to ensure federal land protection for Cebidatelidae starting with California, Colorado, Idaho, Oregon, Utah, and Washington.

I was upset by this decision because the first location the species was identified scientifically was Texas. I petitioned and as a result, the Government Canyon State Natural Area will be protected, opened to the public and expanded in Bexar County, TX. The long-term plan will be to open each of these designated “Natural Areas” to the public. Once all of the designated Cebidatelidae “Natural Areas” are open to the public, the DOI will announce the species as an endangered New World Primate. I am not sure if this will happen, and the Government Canyon State Natural Area will not be open to the public until 2005 and then expanded later in 2009, and then again in 2012. This will all happen long after I am dead I’m afraid.

I am currently still living in Colorado and I have attempted to journal my experience with the discovery of this new massive primate. The species is amazing, powerful, and deadly if angered. Like any animal, it will protect itself, its food source and its young at all cost. Artiodactyla are Cebidatelidaes’ primary food source. It is imperative that the federal government continue to designate “Natural Areas”. Otherwise, a scarce food resource available to Cebidatelidae will result in more opportunistic feeding behavior and closer interaction between Humans and Cebidatelidae. These creatures and human beings simply do not co-exist.

H.A. Miller, MD, PhD (Now deceased)